“Spread your wings and fly” the thought has often come through my mind in this season of motherhood. To dream, to be oneself, to conquer the unimaginable. Sometimes it seems impossible to care for oneself when you're in the trenches of motherhood. Those dreams, those achievements you may want so badly may seem unachievable. For me, in this season of motherhood, it sometimes feels as if my wings (my dreams) are bound down. I'm unable to stretch them, unable to move, unable to take off.
I've always been someone that sets my mind on something and I get it. I run full force and jump. I have faith in it and I'm flying. But “the now” can leave me feeling discontent and before I know it, I get caught up leaving the “now is now” mentality. When I catch myself leaving “the now” I find myself taking a step back and thinking of the word "Content." I know much solace can come with the word if practiced right, to be content in the trenches of motherhood. Just writing it, let alone saying it, can seem a bit daunting at times.
Motherhood is a dream in itself for many. A few years after marriage, the dream of motherhood entered my life. The dream of little children running about in my home, waking in the the wee hours of the night caring for a little babe. It took flight in me and all other dreams seemed a little less important.
But now here I am, thinking of all the goals, dreams I once had and I find myself allowing them to be set free. My wings feel a little less bound and a little more free. This sounds like it's freeing, like it can make you a little more content, but if like me, you’ve set a dream free you know it can feel a little more like heartbreak than rejoicing.
An ache can come with motherhood and losing oneself. As mothers, we can at times feel invisible, not seen. We get lost in the food stained clothes, the endless meals needed by our little ones, and by the end of the day, no energy is left for flight in other dreams. So it is important to find contentment while living a life of motherhood.
To have faith and find the contentment, to realize one day you wont have the noise of children echoing through your home, rooms without toys strewn every which way, and looking down to empty arms no longer rocking a little one. Take a moment to realize you are living a dream. You are spreading your wings like never before.
You are living out motherhood. You are doing one of the most rewarding things, albeit exhausting. But when it really comes down to it, what dream doesn't make you feel exhausted at times? But at the end of the day, remember that all of the dreams sacrificed to be present for your children will be worth it.
Take flight in that, take flight in the not so solace moments of motherhood, take flight.
Journalist: Michelle Findley