Independence
you've been pulling your hand
out of mine lately
i thought it was just a fluke
the first time
the second time
but then the third time i was like
hey now
don't you know i love you
and you're hurting mama's feelings
but you have leapt
from monkey-clinging dependence
to ravenous observer
and more than every once in a while
you don't want anyone anywhere anyhow
getting in the way
and if you think I'm holding you back
even if I'm not
you yank that little hand away so fast
i keep thinking
how i want you to be fearless
bold and gutsy
yet being your mother
has rendered me
one part superhero
one part quivering in a corner
just imagining
something hurting you
you take no prisoners
on your quest for new
new sounds
new textures
new bounces
new flecks on the carpet
you have an unquenchable desire
for things
just beyond your grasp
daddy and i have this theory
you are an old
sage soul
and because of this
so bitterly and loudly
you hover your arms and legs
belly pressing the ground
frustrated to learn from scratch
what you've already mastered
this independence
you're now exerting
so robustly
has my heart all bursting
and clenching simultaneously
and witnessing your world expand
is an honor
it's an honor
but ouch
we have not yet arrived
to that stage
where you return kisses
or hugs
or love yous
i know we are not far
but i long
for that first intentional nuzzle
against the crook of my neck
this is not to say
i can't tell you love me
you demand my attention
with wiggly squeals
oh so pleased
when i see
i enter a room and you beam
you seek your comfort
against me
sometimes i catch
a glimpse
the determined chin and mischievous brow
give your inner teenager away
but then you are so small
and vulnerable
and so very baby
i know
i have time
i will try so hard
to exist fully here
together
before this fades to daydreams
that same hand
that pulls away
still reaches up in your sleep to feel my hair
to make sure it is me
and that is everything
Melissa Glenn, The Village Journalist